Hey Gents ...

Does it matter if I ask the ladies so many questions? Do you ever wear lycra? Your make-up looks smudged, or is that a trail of mustard on your top lip? Do you like cream buns? What's the current temperature beneath your armpit? Why does lettuce go soggy anyway? Have you been to Uranus? Why won't you talk to me? Do you have problems expressing your emotions? Come on, admit it, you're in love with that guy from The Strokes and you secretly write fan fiction based on your imaginary encounters, don't you? Oh come on, are you telling me you don't know what I'm talking about? Are you alive? What makes you happy? Does Run Lola Run make you cry? Would it make a difference if I said it made me cry? Why do you persist with these vile rumours about us? Don't you know I have feelings too? Do you think germs have to spread? What's wrong with you anyway?

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Hey Ladies ...

I know you're curious about me. What makes me tick? How do I have my tea? Are my underpants red? Am I wearing underpants? How do I get my hair to stay that way? Do I like pets? Is my fridge running? How do I manage to write such emotionally retarded music? How much did I pay the engineer to record my songs? Did I really audition for "Cats"? Am I a true tabby? How do my socks fit? What's metal? Do we really die? How many jelly beans do I have in my pocket? What am I listening to right now? Has daylight savings started yet? How do they make belacan? Is my true name Roger? What's my starsign? Do I really enjoy champagne as much as the rumours suggest? Is my portfolio photograph airbrushed? Why do you cry? Does pain cause it? Isn't Paris elegant at this time of the year? Can I guess where you're calling from? Have I been to the Paris Hilton? Does playing a tennis racquet instead of a guitar make me an idiot? Do I enjoy spending time with llamas? Can we expect a similar set of questions addressed to "the men"?

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Why I love "Cats"

Well, it's another day in the life of Clint Bo Dean and I'm loving it. Pulled out my vinyl copy of "Cats: the Musical" today and boy, did it look good. The record was in pristine condition, basically never played. I just put it on top of the record player and watched it for a while. Then I jived to "Jellicle Cats" for a few minutes in my brain, experiencing the rare pleasure of esctasy as the tears flooded down my cheeks, disrupting my extensive make-up. They call me Panda-eyes but those of you who really know me know already that I am a tabby cat with a penchant for profiteroles, memories and two litre jugs of Baileys and Coke. I count Taylor Taylor, charlotte sometimes and the Artist formerly known as the third guy from Bros. as my friends. Andrew Lloyd Webber is a genius. I wonder, did he also invent the barbecue known as the Webber? Sometimes I suspect I too may be a genius. Some of the songs I have been writing lately simply blow me away. The two track recording equipment does give me curry sometimes, and is currently on the fritz but that's okay. I'm Macavity the Mystery Cat. I'm also an interpretative dancer, wearing three bandannas. Count them. Watch me dance.

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